


Smells Like Snails And Bad Puns

by TopazShadowwolf



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Body Horror, Butterbones AU, F/F, F/M, Kinda, POV of Frisk, POV of Papyrus, POV of alphys, Perspective of an amalgamate, Perspective shifts, Soriel, amalgamate, an AU made by the Soriel Discord Server
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:18:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopazShadowwolf/pseuds/TopazShadowwolf
Summary: Sans is missing and the door to the ruins is open. No matter how many times Papyrus has looked, he can't find his brother. Just his luck, a human falls Underground... Else were Alphys is stressed, she let her friends down, yet it is clear they don't fully understand. No matter how hard she tries, she can't seem to find a solution for what she did to them.





	Smells Like Snails And Bad Puns

**Author's Note:**

> Shroom, of the Soriel Discord Server, posted a picture of a warped Sans and Toriel kissing. This image sparked the idea of a soriel amalgamate, which then lead to an AU. I believe we settled on the AU being called Butterbones, but not overly sure.

**Amalg**

One told a joke to the other. The words said made no sense, but the other knew the true meaning. That was all that mattered in the end. The other laughed and the one who told the joke laughed back. The laughs they heard and the laughs they made where different, but that was okay. The world was... different. It moved slower, perhaps? Though, that made no sense to one of them; they were sure... for some reason, the world needed to continue turning at the same speed. Something involving science told them that.

The complexities of science were there, but all that information now felt like vague concepts that were muddled together. Much like the details of politics, rulership, and cooking were now just wads of information, crumpled together and hard to distinguish from the other.

Their identities were another problem, as they were lacking that. They shared so much. Family, friends, memories. There was not a secret left between them. When one of them had a bad dream, the other would comfort them, knowing full well what they dreamed. And when memories previously locked away - by means neither understood - disturbed their thoughts, they both knew about it. Some of those memories were short, some long and filled with sorrow.

As for their favorite memories, the most vibrantly remember was of a set of doors. Though neither were sure if it was in a forest or a place made of stone, both agreed on what the door looked like. They also agreed they were happy there, and that was all that mattered.

But was there a both? They weren't sure if they were always like this. Their befuddled memories didn't show it was always like this; yet, what they did remember made no sense, so it was hard to tell. Were they one being or multiple. Was it just two of them? They think so. The others down here often have many souls in them. But this one only feels like two, with part of the body feeling more solid compared to the others.

_hungry_ , thought one of them.  _Food_ , agreed the other.  _chisps_?  _No_!  _They were tired of chisps. ok. They want pie! ok._

They moved to the door way leading out of the place they lived. It was okay here, but it didn't feel right. This wasn't home. Both had memories of home and one was sure there was supposed to be someone here. As for the other, that one was upset that there wasn't a fire place; that felt wrong, there needed to be a fire place! But at least there was a kitchen, only, the door wasn't opening.

_Trapped, want to bake but trapped. shortcut._

And just like that, they were upstairs. Not where they need to be yet, but close enough. They looked around, getting their bearings in the dark.

_Mess, should clean up. why bother? It is messy! the mess will just come back. everything always goes back to the way it was. Enough, we can clean a little, then eat. ok._

Adamant on tidying, one of the two freed an arm from themselves and set to work on moving papers into neat piles and putting things away. Annoyed with the lack of help, the one lightly bumped heads with the other, though they temporarily were stuck like that till they pulled apart.

_Help so we can eat sooner. ok._

The help of the other wasn't much. Pulling one arm free, the other moved papers around, stacking them in a random manner. The one who started cleaning frowned at this inefficient cleaning method.

_That doesn't go there. how do you know? It doesn't look like the rest. but the words match. Oh? yes, this is part of these notes. Alright, if you say so. eat now? Yes._

They made their way to the kitchen and quietly got out the ingredients for a pie. Though memories on how to make it were... lacking. Flour, sugar, eggs, hot dogs, snails, apples, ketchup, and butter. Or was it butterscotch? Either way they put the ingredients together and placed it in the oven to bake.

While they waited one spotted a bag by the wall and reached for it while the other was distracted. There were hard things in it that they had seen one of the other amalgamates eat. Curious and hungry, the one decided to try it.

_not very good. Don't eat that, that is for Endogeny! ok. is it almost ready? It just started baking, it needs longer. ok... want to tell jokes? Sure! But quietly, not to wake Alphys._

Back and forth, they both told their puns. There was an odd smell, but they reasoned it meant the pie was just cooking. They remembered that smell being tied to cooking. Or well, one of them remembered it being part of cooking, though they weren't sure who's memory it was or what happened in the memory.

 

* * *

 

 

**Alphys**

Alphys was startled awake by the sound of her fire alarm going off. Sitting up in bed she fumbled around for her glasses, "C-come on, where a-are they!" She knew better than to fall asleep while reading manga with her glasses on, yet she kept doing it. Every time results in her looking around while being half blind. Searching the usual places, she couldn't find them on the stand or in her bed sheets. Quickly, she patted her hand along the floor till she finally felt something familiar. Sure enough, it was her glasses, which she put on and looked around.

There was a heavy layer of smoke collecting in the air. Feeling panicked, she sprang from her bed and rushed down the stairs. There were so many important documents and notes that would be a major lose to monster kind if they burned. This was also her home and the home of the poor monsters of her experiment gone wrong. As much as she felt chained to this place, and trapped by her failure, she didn't want the lab to burn down, or any of the amalgamates to be hurt either.

Oh, if they were hurt, she would never forgive herself.

She already didn't. Not for what she did to them.

Following the smoke, she rushed into the kitchen and what she saw was a relief wrapped in regret. "Oh," she sighed, "j-just you two." Hurrying over, she grabbed the fire extinguisher in the kitchen and opened the oven. Sure enough, there was something in there on fire and she put it out.

"hungry."

"Baked a Pie."

"Yes, I c-can see th-that. W-wonder what kind of p-pie you tried to m-make," Alphys grabbed a towel to hold the pan with before she reached in and pulled out the charred remains. It looked vaguely, if she squints, like a pie with hot dogs in it. With a sigh, she set it down and turned back to them, "Y-you can't k-keep doing this. You h-have to stay with the o-others."

"Cook good food."

"food."

"I-I know, but," Alphys then sighed. She held out a hand and the large, gloppy hand of what used to be Toriel's, Queen of Monsters, took it. "I'll get you some chisps, okay?"

"Healthy food."

"ok."

"It's t-too late to be cooking, or ordering food. I-I'll get you s-something better tomorrow," Alphys bargained.

"Good food tomorrow."

"ok."

With that settled, she started to work on the next issue. The one that, for her, is the most important because there have been a few times they could have been seen. "And y-you need to stop c-coming up here... however you do that," Alphys said as she started to lead them back down to the True Lab.

"Kitchen is here. A good kitchen."

"ok."

Alphys sighs, Toriel was being stubborn; and, if she were to make a bet, Sans has checked out of the conversation. She looked at them, "It w-would be easier if you b-both were agreeing or d-disagreeing."

"Oh... both?"

"ok."

The confusion at the word "both" reminded her that the two were stuck together as one. It was hard to think of them as one m0nster. And did they really think of themselves as one, and not two combined together? As the elevator went down to the True Lab, she thought on that. Her good friend and the queen are now one messy form. Unlike the other amalgamates that had absorbed multiple monsters, it was just those two. She didn't know if it was because Toriel, being a boss monster, had more physical matter; or if they just avoided all the other monsters when the melting occurred. Whichever it was, unlike the others, they seemed to keep a stronger sense of self. Yet, they sometimes talk as if they were just one monster.

Once she guided them down to the true lab she turned and looked at them, "Listen, I-I know you want to cook, and c-clean, and prank me... and all those o-other things you do, b-but you need to stay down here."

"Not home, want to go home."

"bro."

"I-I know, I-I know...," Alphys felt a lump in her throat. She knew Sans before this, and was aware of how important Papyrus was to him. She wanted to reunite them, she really did. But, not like this. Not when you can't tell where he ends and Toriel begins in some places. Wiping away a tear, Alphys pleaded, "y-you can't go h-home right now, please u-understand that. Please."

"Can't... go home."

"...ok."

Toriel seemed to understand, but the way Sans said his 'ok' chilled her. He was angry, she was sure of it, and it hurt to know that she upset him after all that she had done. Walking over to the machine she got them a bag of chisps, hoping to appease him. She handed it over, watching the goopy skeletal hand take the package. The head of Toriel showed little interest, but Sans took it and smiled, so hopefully that worked for him.

"thanks."

"You're w-welcome," Alphys replied, with a sigh. They were getting more difficult by the day. Toriel wants to clean up around the lab and kitchen, and Sans wants to see what Alphys is doing when it comes to science. They used to wait patiently down here; but, once they learned how to get out of the True Lab, they have been coming up more often. "O-one more t-time. D-don't go upstairs. It's not safe for y-you up there. If I l-lost you, I... I don't know w-what I'd do with myself."

"We'll stay."

"ok."

Something was not right with Sans's replies. Even with the chisps, his voice sounded different, and he was just saying the same word. She feared he wasn't taking any of this seriously, or just unhappy with her. This was troublesome if he had been ignoring her, since she was sure it was his abilities that was getting them upstairs. Hoping to set things right, Alphys focused on him, "Are you mad at me?"

"..."

"One is."

Alphys winced, she didn't like the idea of her friend being mad at her. Of course, she doesn't blame him. "I-I see," she said and started to the elevator to go back upstairs. She figured Sans didn't want her around, and was willing to oblige

"no."

"Don't be upset. I love you. Friends, still. Just frustrated."

"yeah."

The words that Toriel said had helped, and brought more tears to her eyes. But then she remembered how wrong the voice sounded. The night Toriel brought Sans to the lab in tears, begging for help, her voice still had some strength. What Alphys heard now was nothing like the strong boss monster that the underground once knew.

What had she done?

"O-okay, I... love," her words were caught in the back of her throat as she watched them from the elevator. Sans's eye sockets had some light, dim specks, shining in them as he was watching her. "I love you, too," she quickly blurted out before the door closed.

By the time the elevator reached the upper lab she was sitting, tail curled around herself, and sobbing. Her friends, what had she done to them? How could anyone, especially them, love her. Wasn't she past loving? If there was one thing she knew, she didn't deserve love or forgiveness.

Slowly standing, she walked out of the elevator, to her computer station, and sat. Turning on the computer monitor, she was welcomed by a bright smile from her favorite anime character. Why couldn't she be living in an anime. If she was, she was sure she would have found an answer and helped the amalgamates. She would be a wonderful scientist, capable of great and amazing wonders, and not the master of failures as she is now.

With a wistful sigh, she looked around her desk, trying to locate her current project. They had been there, everything was sticky and organized to some degree. While everything looked neater, it was all out of the order she was using. Thinking about how she would have to spend time sorting her notes back out, made her want to cry more. Putting her head in her hands, she breathed a shuttering sigh.

Had she told everyone ages ago, she wouldn't still be living this lie. Everyone would know what a horrible a person she is, and she would be fired. Instead, she is still here wallowing in self-pity, when the amalgamates downstairs are the one who deserve pity.

As she picked up one stack she saw two sets of notes that had no relation together, and figured it was Toriel who did this pile. Sighing she looked over the data, trying to figure out what goes where. As she worked, she noticed something. "O-oh," she was shocked, finding the answer she was looking for, concerning issues with the CORE, was right here. All this time, she had considered this notes and data as two separate things, but now she sees that they are interlinked.

With a shaky sigh she said, "Thank you, Sans." It was still early, 4 in the morning to be exact. But she was awake now, and had a starting point to get some work done.

 

* * *

 

 

**Papyrus**

Sans HAD to be somewhere around here, right? But how many times had he searched the Ruins? Undyne has helped, but... it was getting harder and harder to not worry. Sans might have been older, but he was always weaker and prone to getting sick. It was worrying for his brother to be missing this long. What if he was unwell somewhere, and needed help? His poor health was the reason Sans was so lazy and slept all the time. In response, Papyrus had nagged him over and over again, wanting his brother to be healthier.

A horrible thought crossed his mind. Did Sans get tired of his nagging and run away? Did Papyrus force his brother away with misguided love and caring? Papyrus knew Sans loved him, Sans showed his brotherly affections in his own way. Truth be told, Papyrus could have done without the teasing, but according to Sans it was, "my duty as your older bro to tease you. but only me. anyone else tries this stuff on you, you tell me. got it?" Maybe, Papyrus isn't the coolest brother that Sans was always saying he was.

No. Sans wouldn't run away. Not that he couldn't, he was just too lazy. So, it had to be whomever it was that lived in this house by the Ruin doors, right? Did this person carry away his brother? And if so, for what intent? Was it because they thought Sans deserved a better brother? Or some other reason, like the type the Royal Guard are needed the handle.

All the Underground had been searched by the Royal Guard, save for the Ruins. Well, Undyne is Head of the Royal Guard; so, technically speaking, the Royal Guard had checked it. But not to the extent he would have liked.

The Great Papyrus is not going to quit until he finds his lazy brother, Sans.

Even if it is just his dust.

Oh, please, don't let it be his dust.

His search included the house of the person on the other side of the door. Normally, Papyrus wouldn't ruffle through someone's things, let alone make such a mess. It was rude to do such, but his brother is missing; usual niceties are put aside for his brother’s wellbeing. If he found his brother and this person, and no ill intent was meant by his brother’s disappearance, then Papyrus would be more than happy to help clean up.

And make Sans help, it would be the least he could do for never calling!

Ready for another day of searching, this time alone, Papyrus walked into the Ruins. If there was one thing he really liked about this place, the puzzles were ingenious! Though, he was rather disappointed that someone went through and blunted all the spikes. Clearly, they weren't thinking of the children when they did that. Everyone knows kids like pointy spikes!

The monsters of the Ruins were very nice to Papyrus, and they seemed happy to see him. He liked the kind, though shy, Whimsuns that would sometimes follow him. Every monster he saw he would ask if they had seen Sans, a "SHORT AND VERY LAZY SKELETONS, MUCH LIKE MYSELF, ONLY ROUNDER AND WITH QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN FASHION… AND HUMOR." And each time the answer was "no", or "sorry, I have not", or nothing at all but a confused look or an odd wiggle.

He was getting to an area of the Ruins, which he has only been to once before, when he heard a voice. After some thought, he remembered that voice belonging to a friend he hasn't seen in a while. Running, he hoped to meet up with his friend, maybe he had seen Sans? Of all his friends, this one seems able to show up anywhere.

"Stop! Stop coming back! Just stay dead!" Flowey the flower yelled at someone.

Was that...?

Up until now, Papyrus had only seen pictures of a human, but never a REAL LIVE human! And that... that... that thing right there looked like one. He would love to confirm with Sans first to be sure, but that was a luxury he didn’t have. So, he had to go on what he believed, and he believed that thing, right there, was a human.

A human! A real human! If he could capture it, then all his dreams, everything he worked for, would come true! He'd be famous! Everyone would love him!

...

But, what good is that love, if he can't keep the one who already loved him around. What if he is so busy, like Undyne, and he could no longer search for Sans? His brother could be lost forever. No. He cannot capture the human.

"FLOWEY!" Papyrus yelled, calling up a wall of bones to surround and protect the human from incoming seed bullets. He didn't know why Flowey was attacking the human in such a way. That would unfairly kill the human. Why would anyone want to kill the human? "FLOWEY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Papyrus?!" Flowey looked shocked, "What are you doing here?"

"LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER," Papyrus replied. He decided to ignore Flowey's eye roll, he was sure nothing ill was meant by it. Though, he was aware Flowey did not care for Sans. "BUT, I MUST INSIST THAT YOU STOP YOUR ATTACK ON THIS HUMAN. HUMANS ARE TO BE CAPTURED AND TAKEN TO THE KING, AFTER ALL."

The flower glared at Papyrus. He wasn't sure what that angry look was for, but he knew Flowey well enough to know there was good in him. Sure, he can be angry and yell hurtful things, or make rude comments. But, no one is all bad. That was the moral in one of the books Sans read to Papyrus near Gyftmas. Even someone who was cold hearted and mean could change their ways with a little kindness and understanding. He loved that story, it was his favorite Gyftmas, or Christmas, story.

"Fine! Take the human!" Flowey yelled and started to disappear into the ground.

"WAIT!" Papyrus yelled, but it was too late, Flowey was gone.

The human looked out from the bone enclosure, watching Papyrus fearfully. Dismissing the defensive attack, he let them free. When he offered a hand to them they pulled back, as if he was about to hurt them. Well, perhaps it is no surprise, since Flowey was just attacking them. "IT'S ALRIGHT, HUMAN, MY NAME IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I'M A SKELETON!"

The human nodded, but said nothing. Well, maybe they were just taken aback by his greatness? It happens now and then! Sans sometimes said that the greatness tired him out. Papyrus didn't highly believe that, but, there could be some truth to it. Sans was always tired, perhaps the greatness Papyrus gave off did tire him out.

"YOU HAVEN'T HAPPENED TO HAVE SEEN A SHORT, LAZY SKELETON, WITH A BAD SENSE OF HUMOR, HAVE YOU?" Papyrus asked, and the human shook their head in response. For a moment, his usual loud and jovial-self fell into a more mellow stat, "Oh, I see...” Papyrus sighed, then brightened back up, for the human’s sake, “WELL, THAT'S OKAY. I'M SURE HE'S JUST SOMEWHERE SLEEPING OR TELLING BAD PUNS."

So not to discourage the human, Papyrus changed subjects, “LET'S GET YOU TO UNDYNE, WHO ISN'T BUSY LOOKING FOR LOST SIBLINGS. SHE CAN CAPTURE YOU IN MY PLACE."

The human hesitated then nodded, willing to follow now. "YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE UNDYNE, SHE'S ALL TOUGH BUT NICE. KIDS LIKE THAT, RIGHT? ANYWAY, THIS PLACE IS CALLED THE RUINS, AND IT HAS SOME REALLY COOL PUZZLES. I'VE ALREADY DONE THEM ALL. SO, I'LL LET YOU DO THEM AND ASSIST YOU WHEN YOU WANT OR IF YOU'RE TAKING TOO LONG. SORRY, I DON'T WANT TO RUSH YOU, BUT YOU SEE... MY BROTHER IS MISSING AND I NEED TO FIND HIM."

Trying to be like Sans, when he was teaching Papyrus about puzzles, Papyrus stood back, and tried to be as patient as possible. He offered hints, and praised the human for their successes. It was a little annoying that the human wanted to look at everything. They occasional started in a direction that Papyrus did not want them to go in, which resulted in some back tracking.

Still, Papyrus wanted to be the brother Sans always said he was. He didn't get mad, yell, or stomp his foot. Instead, he gently guided them, and even bought a spider donut for the human.

 

* * *

 

 

**Frisk**

They made good timing through the area, or that's what the skeleton said. They reached the house of the person that was, according to Papyrus, talking to his brother. He had not seen the talking occur, but says there is enough hinting that it is true. Taking the moment, the human, named Frisk, explored the house. They like this skeleton and wanted to help. He looked sad every time he mentioned his brother.

Sitting out on a table was a book with hand written words. Looking it over, Frisk saw it was a diary, but filled with jokes and puns. Some of the entries were circled in red, as if they may have been more important that the others. It was hard to miss Papyrus's note in the margins that read, "THIS PERSON'S SENSE OF HUMOR IS WORSE THAN SANS'S!"

Looking over at the skeleton, Frisk pointed it out with a grin. "YES, WELL, THE JOKES THEY WROTE IN THERE ARE RATHER TERRIBLE." Papyrus sighed, looking away as his voice softened, "No wonder my brother sat at that door every day. He liked bad jokes and puns."

Daring to break their silence, Frisk spoke up, "liked?"

"LIKES, I MEANT LIKES. UNLESS HE STOPPED LIKING THEM. WHICH WOULD BE WONDERFUL! THEN HE MIGHT STOP BOTHERING ME WITH THEM!" Papyrus then frowned, "CHANCES OF THAT ARE SLIM. KNOWING SANS, HIS HUMOR WILL ONLY GET WORSE. BUT I'D TOLERATE IT IF HE EVER CAME HOME."

That made Frisk wince, and they looked down at the diary again before moving on. Papyrus followed Frisk as they looked around. In a recipe book, Frisk spotted a recipe for a delicious sounding pie in the kitchen.

Showing it to Papyrus, they watched as he rubbed his chin. “Now that I think about it, this sounds awfully familiar… SANS TRIED MAKING SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT WAS A SUGARY QUICHE. MAYBE IT WAS THIS INSTEAD?”

“Let's take it with, and ask him,” Frisk said, putting the recipe into a pocket.

“YES! SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT IDEA!” Papyrus smiled.

Walking back out, after investigating the kitchen - including the white fur in the sink -, Frisk looked over the well-used books in the bookshelf.

Among the books was one with a book mark between pages. Of them all, it was the most worn, and likely a favorite. It was a book of snail facts, with some very lovely snail pictures.

Walking down the hall, there were two bedrooms and one room marked “under renovation.” One of the rooms was a children's room, with clothes and toys, plus a small bed.

“I THINK THEY HAD CHILDREN ONCE,” Papyrus said, thoughtfully. “LOTS OF CHILDREN BY THE LOOK OF IT! MY BROTHER IS SHORT… and doesn't take good care of himself… I HOPE THEY DIDN’T MISTAKE HIM AS A CHILD!”

Frisk could help but giggle at that, “If they did, I’m sure he’s being watched over.”

“HMMM, YES! THAT IS TRUE!” Papyrus smiled, seeming happy with the idea that his brother is being taken care of.

The other room was an adult’s bedroom. The only thing really left in here of interest was an old photo album. In that album were pictures of monsters, some Frisk could suspect leaving the white fur in the sink.

“I’ll keep an eye out for this monster for you, and your brother,” Frisk said, keeping a determined face. This skeleton had been so kind and helpful, the least Frisk could do assist in finding an errant family member.

Somehow, a tear slipped out from Papyrus’s eye sockets as he said, “YOU WIILL? THANK YOU SO MUCH!”

Frisk smiled back and nodded, confirming their pervious statement. Feeling ready to continue, Frisk walked over and took Papyrus's hand, "I'm ready to keep going."

"ALRIGHT THEN," Papyrus smiled, "LET'S CONTINUE ON OUR WAY."

 


End file.
